


How to Save a Life

by idekineedalife



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Mental Illness, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3183599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idekineedalife/pseuds/idekineedalife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was all his fault. He had one chance and he'd messed it up. His eyes swept the group of campers, 'None of you know.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Save a Life

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray.

_“We need to talk, Chris.”_

_"Sorry Luke, I’ve really got to get going to archery.”_

_"Sit down. It’s just a talk.”_

_He watched Chris hesitate, eye’s flicking between the door and the bed on which Luke sat. He finally scowled and sat on the opposite bunk. He smiled politely at his older half-brother, but Luke saw through his lies._

_He wasn’t sure how to start this, but he knew he had to tell him – before it was too late._

_He decided on just being blunt. “I know, Chris. You’re smart with it, but you can’t hide that from me.”_

_He watched the emotions flare in the brown eyes: fear, guilt, panic, hate. And – just as quickly as they came – they were gone, replaced once again with the polite emptiness._

_“Dude, what are you going on about?” he laughs._

_"You know exactly what I’m going on about. Chris you can’t keep hurting yourself like this, you’re worth so much more than that.”_

_All laughter died from Chris’s face. His eyes darkened as he glared at his counsellor._

_"I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hissed through clenched teeth._

_The meaning of his words were clear: Talk about this again and it will be the last thing you ever do._

_"Okay then,” Luke continued, choosing to ignore the threat, “since we’re already late for archery why don’t we skip and go for a swim.” He stood up and pulled his tank top over his head, grabbing a towel. “Come on, let’s go then.”_

_Chris looked uncomfortable. “Uh… no thanks, I think I’ll just stay back here. I just ate and, well, can’t swim for a half hour after eating you know,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around his scarred waist._

_Luke sat back down on his bunk. “We have all our meals together. I don’t think I remember you having anything at lunch.”_

_"I wasn’t really hungry then… but I stole some food from the kitchens so I’m okay.”_

_“Huh, I don’t remember you eating breakfast either, or supper last night, come to think of it I don’t think I can recall the last time I saw you eat.”_

_Luke was scared,_ It’s my fault he’s doing this, I didn’t show him how much he mattered.

_Looking into Chris’s eyes Luke began to wonder if this would even do anything. His eyes where so empty and lifeless, Luke wondered if there was any hope left for him at all._

* * *

He should have never given up and gone to bed. Maybe, just maybe, if he’d stayed up – even if it had taken the whole night – he wouldn’t be standing here right now. Maybe if he’d been more forceful with him, more stubborn, he wouldn’t be doing this. If only he knew what to say to make it so that he wasn’t standing here, waiting to light his brother’s funeral pyre.

* * *

  _“Look I’m nowhere near the smartest or wisest person at Camp, but right now, I know what’s best for you.”_

_“Oh? And what is best for me brother dearest?” Chris asked sarcastically._

He’s still so young _, Luke prayed to Fates,_ why did you do this to him?

_"You need stop this. All of this,” Luke says softly. “No more cutting, no more starving yourself, no more passing your burns and bruises off as training accidents. I’m not the smartest, but I’m not stupid. Chris how long do you think you could’ve kept this up without me or someone else noticing?”_

_Chris says nothing, but sits there blank and pale._

Please, please, please let him listen. 

* * *

 This funeral was his fault and he knew it. His brother was always there for him in life, he never would have given up. He had one chance to help, his one chance to save him from all of this, and he messed it up. Now, now he’d never get another chance.

* * *

  _"So tell me Luke, what_ is _best for me? Hm? You think that just because you’re counsellor you know what’s right?!” Chris’s voice steadily grew louder and louder, “You think that just because you’ve been here longer than anyone else that you know what’s best for everyone and everything?! Well maybe this is what’s best for me!”_

_“Chris,” Luke begs, “please. This is your last chance, just listen to me.”_

_“This is for the best, alright?! Best for you, best for me, best for everybody! Everything will be better off once I’m gone! I_ know _it will be!”_

_Luke stayed silent, studying the boy on the other bed._

_“And Clarisse?” he says softly, “What about her?”_

_Chris looked like he’d been smacked between the eyes. “Clarisse..? Clarisse will be fine. She’ll forget about me, just like she should. Just like everyone should.”_

_Once again, Luke found himself doubting whether his brother could be saved or not._

* * *

 How could things have gone so wrong? He lost his friend, his partner in crime, his brother; the only person he trusted for years. That night seemed so long ago. _I could have stopped this. I could have stopped all of this._

His eyes swept the group of gathered campers, _None of you know what a hero he was._ He was dimly aware of Chiron saying the funeral rights as he thought back to the last day of the summer session.

_"Where are you going?”_

_“What are you doing up? It’s two in the morning.”_

_“I’d ask you the same thing. Why are you packing?”_

_"It’s nothing, I’m flying to Vermont with little Cassie to make sure she makes it home okay.”_

_“Then why are you packing now, why not just pack with the rest of us tomorrow? And how come I just found out about this?”_

_“Because I wanted to surprise her, this cabin’s not very good at secret keeping in case you haven’t noticed.”_

_“You’re lying to me. You’re running away aren’t you?”_

_“Look just go back to bed okay? I’ll be here in the morning, I promise.”_

His brother had kept his promise. He was there in the morning, helping everyone find things they’d lost and stealing things they needed to replace. But he also lied. Argus had helped Cassie into the van and buckled her in, but her older brother was nowhere to be found. Next thing he knew some new kid was in the infirmary and his brother was missing.

He did the only logical thing: he ran away. It had taken him a while, a long while, but he eventually found his missing cabin mate. He didn’t bother trying to talk sense into him, didn’t try and talk him into returning to that _place_ , to them all of this had made sense; their parents were bad, their grandparents were good. It wasn’t until years later, years of standing on the sidelines, recruiting and training while his brother plotted and planned – years in which his brother had lost himself to the Titan, and the boy had lost his mind to the maze – that he ended up back at Camp Half-Blood.

He did the only logical thing: he fought with them. He fought for what he should have realised to be his home, for the ones he should have known to love him; he fought against what had taken over his brother, the brother that tried so hard to save the boy’s life years before.

_I would’ve stayed up all night,_ Chris thought, lowering the torch onto the pyre, _had I only known how to save your life._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally posted on my old FF.net account that I never use anymore but I decided to repost it here. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or if anything's unclear. This is also my first time posting anything on here so sorry if anything gets messed up.  
> Thanks for reading!


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